Tag Archives: moving in with girlfriend

Questions To Ask Your Partner and Yourself Before Living Together

The following post was originally written for this blog on 4/16/2010. It has been updated to be more relevant today, but it is mostly the same. If it’s new to you, then enjoy!

I’m an advice column and self-help article junkie. Before and after I moved in with my now-husband, I kept track of all the ways we were proactive in making sure living together was a positive experience for both of us. This blog post is the fruits of that labor. I hope this helps you as much as it helped us.

I’d recommend these questions be asked over the course of a few months, at least. That’s because you’ll probably have a full blown discussion with each question and be emotionally burnt out by the time you’ve hashed even one out, let alone the rest. Plus, you’ll probably be revisiting these questions more than once as you learn more about each other and yourself.

Things To Ask Your Partner

How do we handle the finances?

Someone has to pay the rent/mortgage! Make a list of every expense you’ll have: rent/mortgage, utilities, food, home┬ámaintenance, cars, pet care, etc.

Who will be responsible for paying the bills in full and on time?
Will you take turns paying for food?
If you’re short on money for your next car insurance payment, is your partner willing to help you out?
How will you keep track of the due dates together?

The answers may seem obvious to you, but your partner may presume something else entirely. Don’t complain that you’re the one doing all the food shopping if you never discussed who’s supposed to be in charge of it.

Do we merge our finances? Are there any liabilities that make you a risk to me?

One of you may be comfortable merging everything right away. The other may want separate bank accounts all the way to the grave.

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